Do We Measure Up? [Link Love]

This month I had the opportunity to write about another exciting but convicting topic at myMISSIONfulfilled.com...

This is just a snippet, so follow this link to read more. I wrote this for the great site I mention often, www.mymissionfulfilled.com. Comment and tell me what you think!

Let's be honest

I tend to say, "let's be honest..." quite often. Lately, I've been thinking about this a lot. We (yes, me included and no, you are not off the hook either) tend to exaggerate a LOT! Think about it. Frankly, it's way too easy to exaggerate, to make things sound "better" or "worse" than they really are. Two words we use more than any, when we exaggerate or try to make something sound good, are more and less. 

I have an idea. Let's be honest. Shoot straight. Tell the truth. Instead of saying, "We have more than 2,000 people at our church," just tell us how many you really have. Is it 1,987 or 2,001? Instead of saying, "It costs over $73." Just tell us it costs $73. No more or less needed. Have you ever thought about how often you stick a "more than" or a "less than" in front of a number when it really has no business being there? It's addicting. We somehow think it makes us look better, right?

Infomercials are the worst. Just watch one and count the number of times they say, "MORE than," or, "LESS than." It's fascinating.

I hope you will step up to the challenge with me. Can I call you out for exaggerating? Will you call me out, please?

Counter-Cultural Leadership [Link Love]

I love having the opportunity to write about topics I love!  Here's an article I wrote that posted last month and I totally forgot about it. 

This is just a snippet, so follow this link to read more. I wrote this for the great site I mentioned Monday, www.mymissionfulfilled.com.

BLOGROLL: Encouraging Reads [Part 1]

Social networking is built into our workday and words like facebook, unfriend, hashtag, and tweet have new meanings in the dictionary.  We all know the Internet offers much more than just time-wasting stalking tactics. I was recently asked to find great blogs that offer ministry help, challenge your spiritual life, and encourage you in leadership-- all for young women. Do you ever feel like a little kid with tons to learn from those who are older and wiser? I know I do! Here are some blogs that offer very practical helps for young women in ministry:

Kyria –A resource of Christianity Today and Leadership Journal. This site offers practical helps for young women in areas of church leadership, women’s ministry and lots of other topics. An offshoot of Kyria.com is the blog, giftedforleadership.com, a site specifically for women called to ministry.  

WomenReachingWomen – This blog from Chris Adams at LifeWay mainly offers insights on women’s ministry, but you’ll find some helpful articles on ministry in general and leading other women. Chris, with the help of guest bloggers, posts great content several times a week.

JustBetweenUs – The quarterly Christian women’s magazine, Just Between Us, inspired this website. Content ranges from daily devotionals to practical everyday advice. The layout makes it very easy to subscribe to specific content, and the site has a separate blog that is updated several times a week.

ReviveOurHearts – a website from the ministry of Nancy Leigh DeMoss. This site has a sister blog, www.truewoman.com, with lots of great ministry tips and resources for life issues.  This is one of the few blogs I found for women in ministry and leadership that actually offers some great resources on the topic of singleness.  With any of their topics, blog authors seem to respond quickly to reader comments.  Subscribing to this blog via RSS or email is quite simple.

myMISSIONfulfilled – the blog portion of this site is coming soon! Articles are updated monthly, and cover a very wide variety of topics – from cooking and exercise to dating, marriage, books, and Bible studies…with a focus on missions and living missionally. I write for this site from time to time. Go check it out!

[Part 2 coming soon... personal blogs from some influential women in ministry!]

Accountability

"Accountability means loving someone enough to hurt their feelings for their own good." -Dave Ramsey

Let's be honest. Most relationships in life are pretty shallow. We try to say the right thing, don't want to offend, and work hard to maintain the peace. We smile politely and continue on with our day. Perhaps we are pretty honest most of the time, but not really open.

And then there are those few relationships that get really honest. These are with people we don't mind to offend every now and then because we care about them an awful lot. We want the best for them. Deep down, we just want to help them in their quest to follow Christ more closely every day.

I'm more honest with my husband than anyone else on the planet. And he's honest with me, even when it hurts! I can't imagine life without that accountability... it'd be a marriage full of half-truths and fakeness. Miserable, I'm sure. I loved having a mentor who was not afraid to hurt my feelings because she cared so much about me becoming more like Christ.

Do you have true accountability in your life? At least one brutally honest relationship? Who are you currently holding accountable?

Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist

Photo Credit

I'm a recovering perfectionist.  I have struggled with this my whole life. I cried in 4th grade when I left my lunch at home, afraid my teacher and parents would be mad. I was sad if I ever made less than an A on any test, quiz, etc.... much less on my report card (gasp!)

I fight a daily battle with the perfectionist spirit inside me. 

I'm not perfect. Actually, I'm far, far from it.  Still, I hold such high and unrealistic expectations of myself and others (just ask my husband).

I want to be a spiritual mentor, influence, and role model for those I lead, but there are days when I don't complete my Bible reading, or worse, don't touch it at all.
I want to have a personal best time at my next 5K, but I seldom run as fast as I think I should be able to on the treadmill.
I want to have a clean, organized house 24-7, but my house/apartment is usually not very clean. I'm very thankful that my sweet husband helps me clean it!
I want to be the best friend a friend can be, but I don't always return phone calls or texts, I don't let friends know how much they mean to me, and frankly, I'm learning that I'm just not able to be that friend to everyone.

God is teaching me over and over that I don't NEED to be great at everything.  I'm not EXPECTED to be great at everything. I'm expected to trust Him.

Every good and perfect gift (and talent!) is from the Lord.  He is my righteousness. He gives me a place of right standing, and that's not something my own selfish works can never do.

...Learning to trust in Him today and every day.

resource

One of my biggest desires in life is to help, to be a resource for people, to offer insight, especially to people in ministry. I don't know why, but I love this stuff.  I have always loved to ask questions, to get feedback from others, to hear how to make things better.  And for some reason, I want to offer the same to others.  I cherish opportunities to be a resource for other people. 

A week ago, I had the opportunity to sit down with a team of folks on staff at a local church plant.  I had attended this church once, got only a quick look at their kids ministry, and didn't know much about the congregation or the church's history except what friends had shared.  I was humbled to get the opportunity to be a resource for these folks -- to talk about increasing volunteers, kids ministry strategy, events, and problem solving.  IT WAS SO FUN!  I will always worry about whether I really have something good to say, but I got to share from my experience working in a portable church, the people who influenced me there, the great volunteers that I only wished I could duplicate and bring to Nashville, and the journey God took me on!

After this meeting, questioning whether I said anything they didn't already know, I began to think about the take-aways. Two things came to mind about why this type of conversation is good for ministry:

1. When a person doesn't do what you do every week, or know you well, or know your people, they are a lot less likely to have preconceived notions about what you're doing -- good OR bad!  They can give honest feedback. In this case, I had no idea who their volunteers were. I had no ideas how many hours this #kidmin leader put in each week. I only knew that I wanted to help her delegate more responsibilities, help her keep volunteers engaged, keep from burning herself out, and learn from some of the things that helped me in church ministry.

2. Talking with someone outside your ministry (who's been in that same place or had those questions before) can help you see if your fears are irrational. I had previously shared many of the fears this #kidmin had...until I lived through them, and saw what life was like on the other side of those fears, having overcome them!

What do you love about having someone be a resource for you? Other great takeaways? I know there are many more!

reflections on CPC

I'm in Orlando, at the Children's Pastors Conference (that's CPC for short or #CPC11 on twitter). My experience has been quite interesting.  Here are a few observations about exhibitors, myself, and #kidmin (that's Children's Ministers or Kids Ministry Leaders) from the Exhibit Hall, or Resource Center at CPC:

• People don't like to make eye contact...unless they want to talk about the resources you have to offer at your booth.
• I am not a salesman, at least deep down in my heart.  I'd rather just talk to you. 
• #kidmin people need time AWAY!  It is great for them!
• Many are looking for solutions.
• They have a BIG job!!! Most of them don't get paid enough for it.
• They enjoy talking with other #kidmins who can share in their pain... like having volunteers not show up, or being understaffed at their church, or having too many chiefs in their ministry and not enough servants. 
• They want free stuff.  They'll take anything... a button, a silly band, you name it!
• Deep down, they REALLY just want their kids to be taught well with solid biblical truths.  
• It's awesome to LOVE where I work and to talk to folks about the Bible content in what we do!
• I love camp ministry. I want to tell everyone about CentriKid, even though that's not what our booth is designed to do. 
• #kidmins expect to see the same thing every year.  I know, you're thinking, "No way!" but the #1 topic of conversation is how our size/type of booth changed from last year, and how they want the old one back!
• Exhibitors at conferences can really become great friends.  Our "neighbor" exhibitors did card tricks from some folks in our group today - like, legit card tricks that even adults can't figure out!  How cool is that?!?!
• The GOSPEL is way more important than my method or your method, our curriculum or your curriculum... I pray that more than anything, we would develop a true passion for seeing kids "get it!"
• Within #kidmin culture, it's a SMALL world... there are tons of connections!

5 reasons to find a mentor

1. It's biblical.  Paul, Timothy, Jesus, the 12... they were all involved with mentoring, on one side of it or the other.
2. A mentor gives you great perspective.  Chances are they've had more life experience than you and that's a good thing.  Let them offer a fresh perspective on whatever you're dealing with or experiencing in life. 
3. This person will hold you accountable. A good mentor can provide some great accountability in your spiritual life, dating relationships, and in whatever other areas you'd like to be held accountable.  Just ask!
4. You will learn a lot, even if you don't know the right questions to ask, or aren't certain what you're supposed to be learning.  Just spending time with someone who loves the Lord, is growing their relationship with Him, and who cares for you as a person will teach you lots about how to live your own life.
5. They will pray for you.  I have a mentor, Becky, who still prays for me all the time, even though we live miles apart and can't still meet together regularly.  When we were meeting together, I knew that she was my #1 prayer warrior for anything I was dealing with. 

God places mentors in our lives for a clear reason -- to help us grow deeper in our love for Him and to help us along our spiritual journey.  Go find a mentor, it's a good thing.

Putting Away Christmas

All of the things on this tree are put away.  In fact, yesterday I spent the day putting away all my Christmas decorations from 2010. As I was working, Nic was upstairs working from home.  He said, "Hey, what are you doing?" I replied, "Putting away Christmas..." and I immediately thought, that is exactly what we do all too often with our every day lives.  

We shout, celebrate, and joyfully proclaim the birth of Christ for a few weeks in the latter months of the year, and then we tuck it away, tape the box up, and don't really talk about the manger for the rest of the year.

What about that is OK? Why can't we celebrate Jesus taking up residence and dwelling among us all the time? Why don't we live in a way that screams, "GLORY TO GOD IN THE HIGHEST!" or "O COME, LET US ADORE HIM!"

Leave up your nativity set(s) if it'll help you remember.  Don't put away the greatest picture of God's faithfulness and love in sending His only son to earth... it's well worth keeping around and reflecting on all year long.

A Baby Will Come

No, the Teasleys aren't having a kid yet.  A couple of friends sang this song at a church Christmas program we recently attended.  The song was released earlier this year by Bill Wolf... great lyrics and a beautiful melody for Christmastime.  Find it on iTunes... it'd be worth it!

The kings of this world 

Have torn it apart 

But we can take heart 

A baby will come

To the hungry and meek 

To those who grieve 

To the broken, in need 

A baby will come  

We have known pain 

We’ve felt death’s sting 

God, help us believe 

This baby will come 

The angel appeared 

Said do not fear 

For peace is here 

A baby has come

The advent of life

Let hope arise

We’ve our Savior and Christ

The Baby has come

We’ve waited so long 

God, for Your mighty arm 

May our doubts ever calm 

For the Baby has come

The proud will be low 

The humble will know 

They’re valued and loved 

For the Baby has come

'Cause the kings of this world 

Won’t have the last word 

That, God, is Yours 

For the Baby has come

Phone Interview Tips, Part 2

This is the sequel to Phone Interview Tips, Part 1.

If your interviewer doesn’t share, it’s good to ask who all is present in the interview.  This will help you know who your audience is, and may affect some of your answers.  It’s good to know if you’re speaking with one person or 5. 

Remind yourself that there are absolutely no non-verbals in a phone interview.  You can’t expect a reassuring nod or eye contact. Be confident, even without these things!

When you’re finished answering a question, stop talking.  We tend to ramble on phone interviews because the silence feels weird.  You may not hear, “Good job!” or “that sounds great.”  Regardless, you must be confident in your answers.  Silence is inevitable on a phone interview.

Keep a pen and paper close by.  Jot down notes, questions that come up, or even questions being asked.  These things may help you focus on your answers.

Come with a couple of questions.  This certainly isn’t required.  It usually won’t make or break the interview, but it helps to show that you’re thinking in the right direction.  Don’t ask how you did, and don’t say, “I know I’m supposed to have questions, but I don’t.”  It is okay to ask what they process looks like from here, or when you might hear something.

Use a phone interview to your advantage.  Use your words wisely, listen carefully, and hopefully score the job you want... even over the phone!

Phone Interview Tips, Part 1

Interviewing for a new job? Have a phone interview that's scaring you to death?
I've been a part of quite a few phone interviews, as interviewee and also as interviewer.  Here are a few tips that were passed down to me, and some I've picked up along the way.

Treat it like a face-to-face interview… be ready early, have your notes together, smile, etc. Keep your scheduled appointment and try to avoid having to call the interviewer back later because something came up.

Dress the part. Seriously.  If you look professional and take time to prepare, it’ll change your perspective.  Dressing professionally will help you feel more confident about the interview.

Find a quiet, comfortable place to be during the interview.  Make sure there are no distractions.  This will help you focus.  It also helps the interviewer when there’s no background noise. If you’re walking, it’s harder to talk without become winded.  If you’re in a loud place, it’s just annoying.

Before the interview, brainstorm potential questions.  Write them down, along with your answers to those questions.  Why do you want the job?  What do you have to offer?  What are your greatest strengths and areas of growth/improvement?  What concerns do you have?  What experiences from your past have helped prepare you for this job? 

Print out and keep in sight those questions and answers. They may never come up, but they also might help you  in the interview.   You'd be surprised how much this will equip you to talk about what you bring to the table!

Come back tomorrow for Phone Interview Tips, Part 2!

Swiss Cheese (a guest blog by Nic)

Swiss Cheese?

You may be thinking, "What in the world are you going to write about turkey’s perfect sandwich buddy?" That funny looking cheese that smells a little weird but make such a yummy sandwich addition?  I don’t even know why it’s called Swiss cheese... Did the Swiss invent it like the French invented French fries? It really doesn’t matter who invented it, but I often laugh at myself for word pictures I get in my head.

So yesterday at community group we were talking about Jesus and his uniqueness, which led right into a discussion about evangelism. We began to note characteristics unique to Jesus and why those things cause us to have a greater adoration for Him. That adoration should cause us to want to share His uniqueness and our great need for Him as our Savior.  When we seek, adore, and trust Christ, we are filled up with joy, peace, and hope! This verse sums it up well, and it's where the Swiss cheese thought first started...

Romans 15:13 says, "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

As I heard that, I envision myself (well, a cartoon version of myself) with Jesus hovering over me, holding a bucket, pouring the Holy Spirit into me. Instead of looking like the Kool-Aid guy overflowing out of the top, I looked like Swiss cheese with the Holy Spirit flowing out of lots of gaping holes in my body! I was holy, no pun intended.  Well, actually it was intended. Imagine though, the Holy Spirit is poured into our lives and we should be pouring out hope, joy, and peace into the world around us through the holes in our Swiss cheese.

So stay away from being a boring block of cheese and go Swiss... Let the Spirit flow through you to others around you! 

This could also be the next WWJD movement... Got Swiss? Are you Swiss? Swiss? Turn the other Swiss? We Swiss you a Merry Christmas? Holy Swiss Batman? The possibilities are endless....

Reminders -- A Guest Blog from Nic

[This is a guest blog from Nic Teasley, while Meredith is traveling for work.]

So a few months ago I was pulling on my socks getting ready for work when my finger found it’s way into the quarter sized hole near the top of the sock. "Awwwww," I thought to myself. I remember lightly beating Tank (my good ol’ dog) for the many things he chewed holes in. In that moment though there was a minor mist in my eyes as it also brought back the good times we had and the fact when I moved to TN I had to leave him (with a good family) back in CA.

What jogged that moment back to mind was Meredith being out of town. You forget how much someone means to you until they are not with you, but there are so many things in our house that remind me of how much I love her.

Those reminders come in many ways; pictures, coupons, lunch sacks, coffee mugs, etc are hanging around the house as constant reminders of dates, days, and moments. On a normal day I fly past those items not thinking twice about it. Once things aren’t normal I pause and notice those little reminders. But why don’t I pause more often?

We have filled our lives up with technology, work, busyness, football, and lots of other things that have caused us to no longer pause for time with Christ, for a time of remembering His grace, His mercy, and His blessings on our lives. Lets stop, breath, and create the pause in our lives to remember Christ. Make this an “I Must” in your day. Reflect on Christ, study His word, and be thankful that we can talk with Him all day everyday.

My Book List

A coworker asked me to add to a list of books recommended for new ministers.

Books I've read (or am currently reading) and love. I've learned from these. I've only included books especially pertinent to my current work and life.  I've read lots of great seminary books... but they are not included.

• Linchpin by Seth Godin 
• Purple Cow by Seth Godin 
• Getting Things Done by David Allen 
• Developing the Leaders Around You by John Maxwell 
• Strengths Finder by Tom Rath
• How to Win Friends and Inflence People by Dale Carnegie 
• The Pleasures of God by John Piper
• Tribes by Seth Godin

Books I want to read and feel fairly certain I'll enjoy. I have a lot to learn from these.

• Outlive Your Life by Max Lucado 
• Everyone Communicates, Few Connect by John Maxwell 
• Radical by David Platt
• Future Grace by John Piper 
• The 5 Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni

I'm always adding to my list... what books would you suggest? Comment and let me know!

People Watching: Youth Workers

Today I served as a greeter for the youth workers' conference at the office. This meant holding and opening a door for a couple of hours. While I was people watching, I made 6 observations about youth workers:
1. Two schools definitely exist. Old school and too cool for school.
2. Backpacks are very popular among youth workers...kinda reminds me of hanging out with camp staffers.
3. They are generally very friendly.  I work with children's ministers a lot, who can sometimes get a reputation for being "strictly business," so I quickly recognized and appreciated the overwhelming friendliness among this group. 
4.  I'd say about 85% are male, 15% are female.  At least of the ones I saw. How many females do you know in youth ministry?  Is it intimidating or something? I heard there were some great girls min conf's at this event... and I'm always excited to see a few females in ministry!
5. Husband and wife teams are the best.  I love seeing families doing ministry together.
6. A reunion is waiting around every corner. You never know when you'll see someone who came to camp... I love camp reunions!
 

5 signs of a great team

I work on a great team. Really, they are incredible people. After long hours of doing manual labor together this week, I realized that they genuinely embody characteristics of a great team.

1. They are willing to do hard work. Nobody would say that manual labor, moving boxes, or sorting broken flag poles is their favorite job in the world, but there's no question that they'll be there. No one bows out for "more important work," or disappears to never be seen again. They are there to work hard.

2. There's no such thing as "That's not my job!" This team will do anything. Surplus day and flag sorting might not be found in their job descriptions, but no complaints are heard. The job needs to get done and we're a team.

3. They have unique gifts but a shared vision. The team knows what success looks like, and we work toward success using our unique gifts... we aren't all doing the same job, and we each have a different viewpoint for finding solutions to problems.

4. They communicate well. Nobody's perfect, but these folks are great at staying "in the know." We ask questions, try to stay on the same page, and value having the team in the loop as much as possible.

5. They keep it fun. Don't get me wrong, we all take hard work seriously... but jokes, laughter, and general funniness are a big part of our time together. This team loves to laugh, and we try not to take ourselves too seriously!

Fruit

Today at work we honored a recently retired co-worker for her many years of service. It was a great time to be together with the team, to hear about her new work, and to let her know how much we appreciated her time with us. Lance, our boss, read from Galatians 5... fruits of the Spirit... and challenged me in a big way. As Lance said, if these characteristics are evidence of a life walked in close relationship with the Father, then this servant of God really lived that out. Immediately, I began to ask myself, "Do I live that?" and my immediate response is, "heck no... at least not often enough!" What a challenge, to live out...

LOVE... toward people who love us and even more toward those who don't.

JOY... in the good times and in the hard times, even in the mediocre "blah" moments.

PEACE... when all of life seems to be in a state of unrest, and evil prevails all around.

PATIENCE... in those tough moments, when I really want to just scream, when God's answer doesn't seem to be coming fast enough, in seasons of waiting.

KINDNESS... kindness, KINDness, really? when I want to say something mean, sarcastic or exaggerated.

GOODNESS... will I ever grasp its true meaning? This is quite the opposite of my selfish nature.

FAITHFULNESS... when prone to wander, prone to leave the God I love. Faithful in thought, in word, and most of all in action... am I faithful to time commitments, to promises, to disciplines?

GENTLENESS... when the only words I have are harsh, when I want to snap, when my selfish attitude is far from gentle.

SELF-CONTROL... when my sinful nature wants momentary fulfillment, do I remember the greater good? God's bigger purpose?

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. - Galatians 5.22-23

What a challenge. Thankful for the reminder today.